sweet horse's breath

Today was a tough day. I had an appointment with the Vet this evening who took xrays earlier than we expected. About two weeks earlier after not liking the way Lazarus was taking to his shoes. We saw more rotation in both hind legs, with his right rear continuing to be the worse of the two. Tomorrow evening the farrier, comes out to try a new shoe with an egg bar, and wedge for the right rear to try and prop his inside roation over to alievate some of the pressure. From what it sounded like to me (and in gut) if this doesn't work to stablize him, if we see more rotation, I don't know what else can be done. I am praying this works and Lazarus is able to stablize and take a year, or more off if he needs to heal, and survive. The attitude in the room at the vet's between the Vet, the Farrier, the barn owners and myself felt dim. I'm at a loss of what to do next if this doesn't work. I wish there was more concrete tactics of laminitis, but it seems there is not and it varies so greatly from horse to horse. I am sick over the fact that the next 3-4 days are crucial in his healing.

Lazarus coming in for a carrot before I had left for the Vet's

Love that muzzle!

Ironically, this picture below, was taken before this news of our next attempt. Ignorance is bliss.

What makes all of this soooo hard, is that he still seems to have a lot of fight in him. Other than him not moving like normal (quickly, etc), he acts the same pretty much. He is calmer, but that may be because he knows me that much more, and is trusting more. Or maybe it's because he hurts. His digital pulses in his right rear remain up which is a bad sign of pain, I am told. I see him in pain when he is out of his sand, but in the sand, he is happy. What is humane? How hard do I make him fight? I am so afraid to think I should stop for his sake, and what if I end it too early? What if he can get better? Or what if I continue to spend the money I don't really have and he continues to kept getting worse and is in more pain? Am I hurting him or helping him? The vet told me he's seen people try until their horses lay down so much, they have bed sores...I don't want to do that to him. I don't feel he is in pain that he can't endure, although he is on a full tube of Equioxx every day for pain.

I wish I knew 100% what to do...I wish Lazarus could tell me.

For now, we are putting on a new shoe for his right rear to see if it helps and wait to see what happens.